As a minor disclaimer, I’m always careful about books offering to be a “guide” to anything. Of course, there is nothing wrong with seeking guidance. I just want to make sure I repeat one of my mentor’s favorite phrases; “Keep what works for you, leave what doesn’t.” (Thank you Melissa Kincheloe, LCMFT). Never take a reading or a lesson wholesale. Take what works for YOU and leave what doesn’t.
Do you feel angry with how others have been handling the COVID-19 pandemic or constant stark evidence of institutional racism? Do you ever catch yourself feeling pissed about something and telling yourself immediately to LET IT GO. Sometimes we don’t need to let it go. I’ll argue that it’s quite often. Of course, there are unhealthy and harmful ways of venting anger, but I second Dr. Lerner’s position that women are taught to ignore their anger far too often.
Maybe take a pause to listen to that anger. I’ll write more later about how anger is often laying comfortably on top of a different emotion. For now, listen to your anger (when it feels safe to) and maybe you’ll find a fairness in it. Personally, I find exercise, journaling, or a good talk with a friend to be a great way to vent anger if needed. Once it’s vented, anger can point us toward something important. It can point to fear, hurt, sadness etc. Either way, I’d love to hear how you were taught to think about your anger. Were you disallowed to acknowledge it at certain points in your life? What was that like? Take care, let me know how I can help.